


Complete

by afteriwake



Series: Simple As It Should Be [17]
Category: CSI: NY
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-18
Updated: 2012-09-18
Packaged: 2017-11-14 12:55:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/515443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afteriwake/pseuds/afteriwake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything in her life was going well, and she didn't feel empty anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Complete

When Lindsay was in college, she'd taken an art class with a professor who wanted them to understand more about art than what constituted art, the semantics of art. She had wanted them to really understand the drive an artist had to create something. So when they were asked to write a paper on the topic of passion, Lindsay had thought about it before doing something she'd never done before.

Her whole paper had started off with the dictionary definition of passion. The entire definition, more or less. Powerful feeling. Love, sexual desire: lust, the object of such love or sexual desire. Great enthusiasm, the object of such enthusiasm. Anger, rage. And then she'd stated that while all of them were correct, passion was knowing that whatever it was you were passionate about was going to be important and _stay_ important in your life.

All she had written was the definition and that one sentence. She hadn't put any thought into it when she did it, and it wasn't out of laziness. The professor had asked her to explain, and she'd simply told her that passion was something you didn't think about, if you could help it; it was just something you felt.

She'd gotten an A on that paper. Her professor had kept it, framed it. So far as she knew, it was still up on her professor's office wall. Her teacher had remarked that she really understood passion, better than any other student she'd ever had.

She had realized, though, that she didn't have many passions. There was science; that had been a passion since she was young and the work she'd done in college had only reinforced that passion, built it up and made it a focus in her life. Horses were another passion. The sheer freedom she felt when on a horse was intoxicating, and the beauty of the animals...well, she'd been hooked almost since birth.

But, most people associated passion with love for another person, and she'd never really felt that. Sure, she'd dated, she'd had flings...once, she even thought she was in love. But it wasn't love. Maybe not on her part, but it definitely hadn't been on his part.

So she threw herself into her other two passions. Science had expanded and then contracted into a specialty, forensic sciences. That had lead to her becoming a CSI, and she was happier than she'd been in a long time, but not complete. And while the horses she went riding with filled part of her need for companionship, a horse was not a perfect substitute for what she was really missing.

When she moved to New York, she'd really thought she was going to be miserable her first few weeks there. Stella and Mac and Hawkes had been nice enough, but Danny had kept teasing her and Flack had glared at her most of the time. She wasn't looking to be popular, but she'd have like it if everyone at least considered her part of the team, and she wasn't really geting that.

She missed home. She wanted to go back home so bad sometimes that she came to realize that she could either quit and go back to where and who she had been, or she could make an effort. When one of the detectives in a nearby precinct had asked her to the opera, she'd agreed, only to get pulled out on the subway surfer case. She'd tried again later to go out, to make friends with people she didn't work with. She didn't have a high success rate there; her hours were crazy.

But slowly she began to realize Stella had become a good friend, and Hawkes was a pleasure to be around, and Mac was an amazing man to know, and that even Danny was warming up to her, his teasing taking on a different vibe. Flack...well, he was still the same, but he hadn't been glaring as much, and every rare once in a while, she'd caught a smile on his face when she was around.

She could deal with having them as her closest friends. She was okay with that. But she still felt lonely.

And then the hits started coming: Danny's DNA turning up at a crime scene, Stella getting attacked, her own need to get answers from a suspect that almost turned into an obsession, the death of her new team's good friend...and then the explosion.

She hadn't expected that a simple miscommunication on Hawkes' part was going to turn into one of the best things that had ever happened to her. When she and Flack had talked, and she'd been truthful with him, that had been the start of whatever it was that was happening with them now. It had been almost as though the slate had been wiped clean and they'd started over.

Now...life was good.

Tonight, they had just decided to relax a bit before going out to eat until she'd turned on the TV and one of those old black and white movies she loved so much was on. He called out for delivery and they'd had a night in, watching the movie, and the one that was on after that, and just enjoying each other's company. 

The food was long since finished. She was on his couch, curled up next to him. He was laying behind her and his arm was draped over her waist. She could tell he wasn't asleep because every once in a while his grip would tighten and she'd feel a kiss on the top of her head. They didn't really speak, but that was okay; she knew when the movie was over they'd probably talk for a while and then she'd either stay the night or take a cab home, depending on how late it was and how much they felt like talking.

She shut her eyes, just for a moment, searching out in her mind that empty spot she'd felt for so long, only to find it wasn't empty anymore. She'd found passion someplace she hadn't really expected, in a city where anything was possible, with a man who'd continuously surprised her, and she felt complete.

Nothing was missing anymore.


End file.
